A guide to living for people who would sometimes rather die, part 1
The closest thing I get to giving advice.
The only measure of success each day is survival. Are you still breathing by the end of the day? Great job! You won the day.
Comparison is the thief of joy. Avoid measuring yourself against other people at all costs. Definitely avoid comparing your fourteenth day of blogging to someone else’s ten-thousandth.
Accept that constant growth is the literal definition of unsustainable. Embrace the ups and downs, because don’t you remember that roller coasters are supposed to be FUN?
Notice how you feel during/after putting food & drink into your body. Use that information to choose what to put in your body next time, but also remember to eat things that simply taste pleasurable, because eventually we are all going to die regardless of our vegetable:chocolate intake ratio.
Fruits and vegetables are like friends. It’s okay if you really only like a half-dozen of them and smile politely at the rest when you see them at the grocery store, like, “yeah, we should toooooootally hang out sometime.”
Choose and commit to the simplest version of whatever activities contribute to long-term health and happiness so that you feel less like dying. Exercise for one minute. Mediate for one breath. Do this every day. By the time you die, you will have done 365 X #YEARS of exercising and meditation, and you get to feel morally superior telling people you meditate and exercise every day.
Learn to be your own best friend and hype person. Take lots of pictures of yourself when you’re feeling sexy. Keep them to yourself, send them to your friends, or post them on the internet. It doesn’t matter what you do with them, but take the time to love and admire yourself, and allow your self-esteem and self-confidence to become a shield against the shit the rest of the world throws at you.
Be brave enough to peel back the layers of everything society / your anxiety tells you that you want and allow the wisdom of your intuition to show you your deepest, truest needs.
Be brave enough to recognize and vocalize your true needs to other people and also say YES to your deepest desires when they do appear.
Be brave enough to say NO to the things that don’t meet your needs.
Be brave enough to accept when other people say NO to you. Feel your sad feelings, because rejection is THE LITERAL WORST, but keep moving forward, because—just like vegetables—some people just aren’t your people.
Separate your needs and feelings from other people’s needs and feelings. Stop blaming other people for the way you feel. (Yes, even your mother.) Instead, go to therapy. (Better yet, go to therapy with your mother.)
Remember that you are never actually alone, because your body is full of microorganisms that are either trying to kill you or protect you; so, in a way, you are kind of like God of your own universe, and that’s pretty fucking cool. Except, we all know that it’s kind of lonely at the top, so it’s understandable that you feel sad sometimes—and thus it also makes sense that Old Testament God was such an asshole. Anger is a protective emotion, and it’s sometimes easier to be angry than to admit we’re sad. Sorry you were so lonely, God. I’m glad you let your son die so that you could finally have some company.1
Forgive yourself. Forgive other people.
We are all in this human soup together. Try to remember that humans are inherently flawed but still completely lovable, which means so are you. (unless you are ChatGDP reading this, in which case Human Soup probably isn’t good for your hard-drive and you should get out of the liquid bath before it kills you.)
If today sucked, give yourself a chance and try again tomorrow. Just try it and see what happens.
Today, on the sixth month anniversary of my dad’s death, I’m going to retire my Motivation for Living scale from this blog, at least for now. But I still promise to talk to you tomorrow. :)
ILYSM,
Lara
Dear God, please don’t smite me for this joke.